Quest of Identity

A young man once jokingly asked his friend, "How can you face your problem if your problem is your face?" The friend paused a moment and seriously replied, "Look for a plastic surgeon." It sounds funny that the joke received a practical response. But no longer is it funny if the facial problem is a real problem; for appearance is a big deal among young people nowadays. To look your best is a must or else you're out.

How a person looks and the way he should look are both major issues to every individual. They become more intense to an adolescent. This explains why the necessity of so many facial products to improve the way one looks is the selling point of most ads. Their target costumes, the young people, are enticed to be presentable, handsome, or beautiful. Hence, a lot of grooming aids are being advertised: from the kind of gel or hair wax to apply, to the clothes to wear and the techno-gadgets to display; all are connected to one major aspect of young people - identity.

Discovering Healthy Identity
"Who I am?" is more than just an important question to answer. It is a journey to take. It is a long way of self discovery and formation. In fact, as the person grows, the searching becomes more sensitive. It seeks to answer another question - "What should I be?" In reality, every adolescent is exposed to a lot of different situations that challenge him on whom he should be. In essence, every teenager can already be aware that he possesses a certain identity to discover and pursue. The important concern should be, "Is it a healthy identity? How does one know if he has a healthy identity?"

There is nothing wrong trying to be physical attractive. However, if it becomes more than what he can take or afford, that becomes a problem. To have a hairstyle that seemed to be out of this world or to wear a dress that defies decency is no longer self-expression but a misguided projection. Instead of possessing a healthy identity, that person could be at loss as to who he is.

Anyone who possesses a healthy identity is one who has an understanding of who he is and what he should be. It involves both appreciation and confidence of what he has and what he can do. He accepts his limitations and is willing to work it out, finding ways to improve. So, if you know you're not good at doing a certain task, a healthy-self takes a leap of faith to learn it and master it.

Discovering Your Identity
Forming one's identity is as complex as looking for the right person to be with. It takes a lot of focus and concentration on the part of the person searching. Further, one needs to do some trial-and-error processing to engage in forming a healthy identity. This requires honesty to oneself without pretensions. The exploration that will lead to develop healthy identity entails some risks and one has to be prepared for it.

If a young man has fears and difficulty of expressing himself to others, his exploration may lead him to confusion and loss. He ends up being where his friends are; and what his friends wish will be his command.

Sadly, many young people are trapped in confusion, hindering them to develop a healthy identity directed towards discovery or realization that they are unique and that they can be a responsible and productive individual. They then fail to be what they can be. A typical high school student who just aims to pass will take his class lightly. Studying hard will be too tiring for him. He'd rather spend his time watching TV or playing all sorts of computer games. Thus, he ends up of being an average passer, although the fact, he could do better. An underachiever in his own right.

And as expected, those who care become part of the cream section or special class, and they are those who make it to the top ten. What happens then to the majority? Having settled with just passing grades, they are more likely to be in the less-known college or university. And what about geniuses? Media tells us, "The earlier you become an achiever, the more successful you can be." This is a big lie, for the truth is a person can choose to be who they are. What you stand for will mean who you are. It is a given component of the identity formation. What will shape your identity will depend on what you decide to accept and believe.