LOVED...IN ORDER TO LOVE

Sometime ago I watched a film. Well, not the whole, but just a small portion of it. Please allow me to re-make that portion into a full story for you - with a little added imagination.

Once upon a time, there was a factory worker in the city. Everyday, he commutes a long way and then walks a short distance to go to work. Soon he noticed something along a moderately busy street that he passed daily. A young girl was always selling flowers at the same spot on the sidewalk.
One day when the factory man was walking by, he smiled at the girl just as he passed. It was more of an act of courtesy than anything else. Of course, he did notice that she was...well, beautiful is not really the word. But yes, she was kind of pretty.
Unexpectedly, the girl did not return a smile. Maybe she did not notice it, he said to himself. After all, it was rush hour. There were people and cars everywhere. And he was some distance away. Maybe his presence got lost in the movements and the noise of the busy street.
The next day he passed by, he smiled again. This time he also waved his hand and looked into her eye a little longer. Again she did not respond. So he took a backward step and approached her. Hello, he said. She responded this time. With a reply. So a conversation started - and lasted many, many days.
He came to know her. Though she was not yet twenty years of age, her sorrows were not few. The naughty kids come along almost weekly. Sometimes they would move her flowers away so she cannot find them. Sometimes they would steal the flowers and throw them away after the thrill of theft wears off. Then there were the unkind costumers who took more flowers than they paid for. But those were little troubles. The big one was her blindness.
The factory man felt compassion. He tried to come to her spot as early as he could after work. Not a few times, he arrived just in time to drive the naughty boys away. Also, he was able to put right a few buyers who attempted to sneak away more flowers than their money's worth.
He even bought some flowers himself. As often as he can. Not because he liked flowers. But because he wanted to bring her joy. That was why he lied to her when she asked if he likes flowers. But more painful than the lie was when she gave him a few more flowers than he paid for. His purchases helped. But only a little. He could only buy so much. And so often. He only worked at the factory. He did not own it. By no means was he wealthy.
When the factory man visited the eye doctor, he was thrilled to learn that surgery can remove her blindness. The thrill was doubled that afternoon when he told her the exciting news. But where will the money for the surgery come from?
He started to skip lunch so he can save money. He took on a second job. Then a third one. There was hardly time to sleep. A year went by. Then another. Then many more. Finally, enough money was saved.
It was a rainy Monday when he took her to surgery. The procedure took long. But he waited every second. He imagined how much prettier she would be. For she can tidy her hair better. And her face will no longer be streaked with dirt - for she will know not to touch it when her hands are dirty from flower work.
Then they brought her back to her hospital room. He stood up quickly to see her eyes. But they were heavily bandaged. The doctor will remove the bandage soon, said the nurse. Then you will see her and she you, she added.
He called her. Gently. But she was quiet. She was still asleep from pre-surgical medication. He waited. But he was tired. Very tired. So he fell asleep. In his dream, he saw her eyes fully healed, seeing him for the first time. And he was sure her eyes did sparkle.
She was already in her mid-20s. And he about ten years older. Why, he thought, I could be a father to her. Or maybe I could be her...
It was bandage removal day. He arrived early. They talked. First, about many things. Then he about her eyes. And she about how he looks.
Then it occured to him. I must shave and wash up, he said to himself. She deserves a pleasing first look at me. Quickly he excused himself and slipped into the bathroom to clean up. It was then the doctor arrived.
The bathroom mirror was an object of admiration. He had not seen such a clean mirror for a long time. But in it, he saw an unfamiliar creature. Sunken eye sockets, flabby eye bags, pale complexion, sinking cheeks, broken fingernails, calloused palms, ugly scars on forearms...-the price paid for holding three tough jobs.
For undernourishment, sleep deprivation and general ill health.
She will never accept me, he whispered himself. I am a tough laborer accustomed to hard realities. But if I dread my own sight, what more she - a young soul as tender and as soft as a flower? She should be spared the sight of this...monster
When her bandage was undone, there was celebration, the noise and cheers coming from doctors, nurses and interns. But quietness quickly set iin when her countenance changed. Her searching look could identify no man in the room dressed like a factory worker.
He is in the bathroom, said the nurse understandingly.
Slowly she got off the bed. The first few steps were unsteady, but the determination kep her going. When she knocked, the bathroom door gave way. It was open. Inside was....no one. She picked up his smell. She also noticed the washbowl was wet. She was pretty sure he washed there not long ago.
She never saw him again. Well, actually she never saw him at all. Or maybe she did in a way, but did not know it.
The wetness in the washbowl was not water. It was tears - once a part of his eyes. But how could she tell? She has never seen tears before. Or water.

*REFLECTION: If one cannot accept himself, it is hard to receive love from another. If one cannot receive love, he remains unloved. If he never experiences love, how can he love? One can only give what he has. If unloved, all he has is rejection. Or hate - the opposite of love. This is why I am most thankful to the Lord God for graning me the joy of receiving love from so many people - my parents, my family, my brothers and sisters, my kids, everybody! What helps me to receive love, though, is experiencing first of all the love of God.